the significance of my Mom

I was a kid with a tender conscience. At an early age I knew I needed a saviour. So, I was probably 4 or 5, and this particular day I was guilty of a damnable sin like pulling the cat's tail. My mom was running me a bath before bed, and I was worried if I would go to heaven. I remember her smile, as though it was funny (looking back on the memory, I am sure it was) but she said "Daren, you've asked Jesus in your heart before, but we can ask him again.." and we did. My first memory of asking Jesus in my heart, kneeling by the bathtub and bare-ass naked. I came just as I was.

I guess the bathtub was a significant part of my childhood -- I used to get sick a lot. For some reason, every time I got a cold as a child, I also got the croup -- which means my airway would constrict and I would wake up in the middle of the night, gasping for air. And my mom, somehow her spider senses would tingle, she woke up knowing I was struggling, and she'd take me into the bathroom and run a hot bath -- which would relax the airway -- and she would sit with me until all was well, knowing full well that she was going to have to be up and ready in a few short hours for the daycare kids that were on their way.

I have spoken often about my mom's prayer life. How it changed my life. How it is a brace that I lean on, knowing that -- though I am ever so unworthy of God's grace, I have a mom who pleads my case before the Father daily. But as I look back, it's what she prayed that was profound. As a kid my uncles nicknamed me Koda Kasai -- he was a champion sumo wrestler at the time and the nickname referenced my physique. I was VERY overweight. But that was a symptom, I was a lazy irresponsible kid. But instead of nagging, my mom committed it to prayer. She prayed that God would give me a "spirit of discipline and self control."(her words) And I am pretty sure that anyone who knows me now, would say God answered her prayer. Praise God, He can change a heart. Praise God for a mother who commits these things to prayer.

The thing that made these things so impactful was more than the actions. It was the attitude. I can't remember any time, under any of these circumstances, where my mom made me feel like a burden. She did all these things cheerfully. Taking care of me was her joy. That is the part that overwhelms me. I can give myself to the poor and sick, but I get tired and eventually get a bad attitude. But she kept on giving selflessly. She still does. And I am pretty sure that is what makes a mom special. I know that's why I celebrate mother's day.

And then I found 20 dollars.